Thanks for coming back…
Before going into the blog for week 5, I wanted to offer my prayers and sympathy to the people of Ukraine and their families. In this day and age no one should have to go through what they are going through right now. I have many friends in neighbouring countries and it is always the innocent people who suffer. 🇺🇦 💙💛
The theme for this week is ‘imposter syndrome’ – having led technology teams and created an engineering hub, it is something which has been highlighted more and more in the past few years. It can be apparent in work, home, school, and relationships.
Relating to my experience, I was always told by my father that due to the colour of my skin, I would always have to work harder than anyone else. Looking back that certainly has stayed with me, as I have worked myself into the ground in the past. I have countless experiences of being on holiday with my wife and she has had to keep me away from my work laptop – with the threat that it will be thrown into the sea! 🌊
What is imposter syndrome and who can it impact?
This syndrome is an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. Essentially people feeling that they do not belong.
No matter what your skill set, work background, social skills, or degree of expertise… you can be impacted by this.
Continued…
Relating this to myself – as the youngest of three siblings, I was brought up in a very loving environment, and was (probably) over spoilt. 👶🏾 Not only did I cut a cake on my birthday… I also cut a cake on all my siblings and cousin’s birthdays too. They now quiver when I turn up to their birthday celebrations! 🎂
In an environment where my mother worked multiple jobs to provide for us (including a job at a famous chocolate factory 🍫 – which caused me to have braces) – there was a form of imposter syndrome in me to never be satisfied and I always felt that I needed to do better.
What type of imposter syndromes exist?
- Perfectionist ✅ – never satisfied and feels that their work can always be better.
- Superhero 🦸🏻♀️ – feels inadequate, so pushes to work as hard as possible.
- Expert 👨🏽🏫 – always trying to learn more and undervalues their own expertise.
- The natural genius 🌳 – sets lofty goals and then feels crushed when they fail on the first try.
- Soloist 🎤 – tends to be very individualistic and prefers to work alone. See’s seeking help as a weakness.
What 5 things can you do to cope with imposter syndrome?
- Share your feelings and talk to others.
- Offer yourself ‘kindness’ and ‘compassion’ instead of ‘judgement’ and ‘self-doubt’.
- Challenge negative thoughts via: Celebrating success and recalling past successes.
- Keep a record of positive feedback from others.
- Reflect and see that you are writing your own movie in real time and are reviewing everyone else’s highlight reel. Be you!
- Separate feelings from fact.
Back to our Meerkat friends…
Interestingly, our furry friends are great at what they do, but again like us they may set the bar so high that they feel like imposters in their own skin. Over time they have shown they can adapt and thrive in difficult circumstances – for instance they are not extinct right now and continue to live in harmony with other beings. ✌🏾
In conclusion…
Everyone has doubts in themselves (even me!), we should use those feelings as additional skills in our armoury to push on to be a better version of ourselves. Without these doubts you would be comfortable at being ‘average’, but now you can be ‘exceptional’ at what you do. 🤩