I have had a welcome break and my brain is well rested. Also, on a football front the footballing gods have been kind with Aston Villa ending their baron pointless run.
The good news for you all, I will be back to my blogging as per before, though I would love more input on what subjects you would be interested in reading about.
Roughly 12 months ago I started to see more posts on social media around coaching – now having grown successful teams I thought that I was well acquainted with this subject. I was wrong, and having been trained by an exceptional coach, it has levelled me up. We should all do the same! ⬆️
Going back to my previous leaders, the ones who long live in my memory were those who asked questions instead of providing answers, supported employees instead of judging them, and facilitate development instead of dictating what had to be done.
I fondly remember one scenario where we had a major programme of work and our approach was devised by our leader at the time , though we met deliverables of the project, a major issue was found our customers were using a different device compared to what we had assumed.
Now if the approach was created in a coach like manner it would have meant that the team would have devised the approach together. As they say, multiple minds are more powerful than just one. 🧠
Many companies are moving away from traditional command and control practices. Coaching represents an evolution. 💫
How easy is coaching?
First and foremost, most leaders feel they are great at it. Though, most are not!
For me personally, coaching was difficult to implement, it was as if the bad habits of giving advice were set in stone, I needed a zip to keep my mouth shut 🤐, and ultimately I was stifling experimentation and creativity.
Old memories 🧐
A parent and a child bond can be looked at as coach-like behaviour in action. A good example is when I had a bad car accident (it wasn’t my fault!). I was turning right at a main junction and it was my right of way to turn, when a car drove through a red light and collided. Now the scenario was such that I brought my new car about 2 days earlier, it was a two-tone VW golf and it was the type where you put the pedal down and your head moves around like a fun child on a rollercoaster.
Fortunately for me my health was intact and I had no serious injuries (other than my body being purple the next day and me looking like Thanos🟣). As for my dream car, it was crushed like a can being recycled.
Now as for the perpetrator, he spoke no English, he said one word which was ‘Green’ (hulk came to mind and I wanted to crush him!). He drove a tank like VW car, which amazingly was still intact after the accident.
Back to the coaching topic, upon recovery my Dad forced me to get a new car (not a sports model anymore 😢), and on my first day said to me to go on the motorway and challenge myself to drive a round trip.
Looking back, this is the essence of coaching, I remember saying ‘I cannot drive on a motorway so soon’ and my Dad asked a coaching question by asking: ‘What is stopping you from driving on the motorway?’. To which I did not have an answer.
Though being hung upside down on a tree is not coaching (real story for another blog), in this case this was coaching in action. On the plus side I have not been hung on a tree since. 👮♀️
How can we be more coach-like?
Ask some of these questions in at least one of your conversations in the next week:
- What is on your mind?
- And what else?
- What is the real challenge here for you?
- What do you want?
- How can I help?
- If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
- What was most useful for you?
Coaching vs mentoring 🚌
In some cases I have found that I still need to mentor. For example if someone has the skill already then they can be coached by asking the right questions and they can be inspired to take action.
Though in cases where they do not have the skills, showing them how to diction their request can help.
To summarise, I will coach when:
- The person has the ability.
- They have worked on a similar situation before.
- They will get more value from seeing the task from their own perspective as it needs deep thinking.
I will mentor when:
- There is an ability gap
- It is the first time they are trying a new task
- It is a complex task where working and pairing adds more value.
Meerkats 🦂
Back to our meerkat friends, imagine being thrown a live screaming scorpion and you need to have that as your next meal. 😦
Adult meerkats have to teach their young pups how to dismantle a live venomous scorpion and then eat it. If it is not taken apart it will be poisonous. ☠️
The adult meerkats are smart and they break a complex, potentially life threatening process into manageable steps. A live scorpion is very dangerous – challenge 1, initially adults bring the pups dead scorpions with no stinger in it so that they get used to eating scorpions.
Once the scorpions are appetising, onto challenge 2, the adults bring the pups dead scorpions with their stinger in. The meerkat pups learn how to take out the stinger. Then the pups are ready to get an injured scorpion, which is a little easier to manage.
Final challenge – they graduate to a live scorpion with the stinger. 👩🎓
This is coaching in action!
Closing
We should all try to be more coach-like – for me, reflecting, reviewing and adjusting my approach has been key and I have learned by not always advising and dictating, it means that team members will grow and they will be happier.
It increases diversity of opinions, conversations are better and it’s a win-win all round.
Give it a go and let me know how you get on. ⭐️
Leaving you with a picture of my sunflowers!
